Angel
by lemlyjane
Summary: A/H, one shot My first fic, please be gentle! Note: Stephanie Meyer owns everything, i just like to toy around with Edward :D


**First fic, go easy on me!!**

Angel

Do you believe in angels? Do you believe in ghosts? No, me neither, not until that day. You see, you may find this hard to understand, you may find it hard to believe but what I'm about to tell you truly happened.

It all started with my girlfriend Bella. I met her eight years ago, when I was working with my old band, Catch. We met at the Smash Hits tour; she was in a new band, Sweet Candy. From the first moment I saw her, I knew she was special. She wasn't like my usual 'type', but maybe that's what I wanted. Whereas I'd normally pick the blonde, model-type girls, they'd always hurt me in the past. Now, I'm not saying this girl wasn't beautiful, she was certainly that, but she was cute and small. Curvy, not skinny, with thick brown curls going down her back. Call me stupid, but I knew from then, that she had to be mine. But as soon as I turned around she'd gone, she hadn't noticed me. I didn't see her at all throughout the rest of the tour, and we were only doing the one night, in Dublin. I looked for her, but she'd already gone, I didn't even know her name. I slowly walked back to the tour bus where the rest of the band were waiting, but something appeared to be missing inside me, I can't explain it, I just felt hollow. Yes, I know, I'd never even spoke to her, how could I feel this way, but from the first moment I saw her, something clicked inside me.

I couldn't concentrate on work for the next few weeks, when I tried I could only think of her. I told myself I was being stupid, tried to snap myself out of it, but I was wasting my time. The rest of the band noticed something was wrong, and they all came over, one-by-one, asking what was wrong. But I couldn't tell them, as soon as I opened my mouth to even talk about her; the pain was too much to bear. I felt like I'd lost an important part of me, when really I didn't lose anything; you cant lose what you've never had.

By this point, the other lads had started to get angry, they said I wasn't putting enough effort into the band, they told me to get my act together and stop moping. Looking back I don't blame them, in their shoes, I admit, I would've done the same thing. I wasn't being fair to them, if I had just told them they would've understood, but I tried and I couldn't. I ached inside when I even thought about her. I did the only thing I thought I could do, I went to see Carlisle, our manager. Now, don't get me wrong, I didn't want to quit the band, the band was one of the most important things in my life, I just thought if I could get a holiday, somewhere away from here, away from the memory of her. But my request was denied. We had too many major commitments planned, the next single was due to be released, and we were to perform it at the Smash Hits Poll Winners Party. As I thought about this my brain went into overload. I met HER at the Smash Hits tour, surely she'll be there. Call me sad, call me crazy but I had to find out. Carlisle didn't know so I checked on the Smash Hits website, and sure enough, Sweet Candy were scheduled to perform, they were also up for Best New Tour Act, we were up for four awards; Best Single for I'll Be Your Lover Too, Best Album for Stray Dog, Best International Pop Act and Best Overall Pop Act. There was only a week to go before the party, and I honestly don't know how I survived it. Every day seemed to drag as if it was a year long instead of 24 hours and I couldn't go to sleep at night; I was too excited. I was like a child at Christmas, eager to find that all his dreams had come true. But anyway, the night of the party finally came, and I could hardly breathe as I walked up the red carpet towards the doors. We had to stop to pose for the cameras and sign a few autographs, and although I was incredibly thankful to the fans that had brought Catch this far, tonight the only thing I wanted to do was get in those doors and find the girl of my dreams. I would've traded the awards we were up for that night to have her, hell, I would've traded anything for her, but my wish came true.

As I walked through the doors my eyes automatically scanned the room, then stopped on the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. She seemed to have a little glow around her, like an angel. And I soon noticed that everyone she smiled at couldn't help but smile back. I went over to talk to her immediately and we struck up a conversation. I couldn't believe how much we had in common; laughing at everything we thought the same of. Before to long it was time to be seated for the awards, she was only on the next table, but it seemed like a million miles away. I wanted her here, with me, and from the look in her eyes she wanted that too. We were scheduled to perform four songs that night; I'll Be Your Lover Too, Never Think, our new single Let Me Sign and a cover of Right Here Waiting by Richard Marx. I looked into her eyes as I sang that night and to my surprise she stared back into mine. We won the awards we were nominated for and I was so happy every time I heard our name called out, but nothing could prepare me for the happiness that came after the ceremony. There was an after show party at the Sketch club after the awards and the atmosphere was amazing, or so I was told. I spent the entire party deep in conversation with the girl, who I now found to be called Bella. Every time she opened her mouth I was amazed at the feeling burning inside of me, like bubbles floating and popping every time we made eye contact. The end of the party soon came and we exchanged numbers. I promised I'd call her the next day, "You'd better!" she said with a wink. I walked her to her car and gave her a kiss on the cheek, then slowly walked back to mine. I was still in total shock about how lucky I was, I might never have seen her again but I did and now everything was going to be perfect, I thought.

I did call her the next day and we started dating. It was amazing we were like school kids; not a care in the world. It also seemed that we were the music industry's golden couple. The papers reported everywhere we went together, everything we did. And for once, it didn't seem to bother me, I was too happy to care.

I couldn't believe my luck when, after we'd been dating a year she agreed to move in with me. I was completely smitten, would've done anything for her, I would've quite happily sacrificed myself for her. But just as things started going well in my personal life, my career was falling fast. Something had changed between the band, for the past year there were constant rumours that the band was going to split. And although we tried to continue, telling people the rumours weren't true. The tabloids were stating viscous rumours about how one band-mate would slag another one off, and in the end it just got too much to bear, we started to believe the rumours, and fights broke out between the band. It was a stupid thing to do – believe the tabloids- but we'd now been in the music industry for seven years, and seven years can do a lot to people. You will find that the music industry can either make or break a person. And although Catch are one of the most successful bands to date, we just ran out of energy, and couldn't fight back anymore. We had to split. I was offered a five-album solo contract but decided that I wanted a break from the music industry, at least for the time being.

I threw myself into my life with Bella, and tried my hand at acting. I did a few films, although nothing really big, I wasn't ready for it yet. I asked Bella to marry me and she accepted, it was the happiest time of my life. And then it happened. The worst night of my life. I would give everything in the world if this night could be erased but it couldn't, and through my own stupidity, I lost my everything.

It was Emmett's birthday party, held at The Chocolate bar in Dublin and it was there where we announced the engagement. Bella looked really beautiful that night and I could tell that every guy in the place wanted her. She tried to assure me that she only wanted me but I refused to believe her, and drowned my sorrows in a cocktail of alcohol. Looking back I know it was stupid, knew my temper when I was drunk. And now I was filled with rage as I turned my head and saw Bella talking to some of the members of Westlife. Yes, talking. I know it was stupid but it was all it took to make me jealous. I raced over and pulled her away and out of the club. I was holding her arm just above the elbow, and she was screaming at me, tears pouring down her face. She told me I was hurting her. I didn't care. All I wanted to do was show her how mad and hurt she'd made me. When we got outside we got into an almighty argument.

"What do you think you were doing in there!?" I spat

"Edward I was doing nothing! I was just talking! You know they're my friends!"

"Really, so you flirt with friends then do you!?"

"I wasn't flirting Edward. I was talking, why don't you trust me?" she asked, looking hurt.

"How can I trust you?! The wedding is off!"

"For God's sake Edward, why do you always do this? Why do you always get yourself so drunk that you end up screaming at me? Do you know how it makes me feel? Well Edward you're now going to find out, 'cause I'm through with you! I'm fed up of being treated like I'm not worthy of you! Were finished!" she said as she turned to walk away. It then started to sink in, what I'd done, I was going to lose her.

"Please Bella, don't go! I love you!" I said, tears running down my face.

As she turned I could see her own tears, glistening in the light. "If you loved me you wouldn't do this" she whispered, then carried on walking.

I couldn't let her walk out of my life, I ran after her, pleading for her to come back, to give me another chance, to just talk. But she started running "No Edward! It's too late!" she shouted as she carried on running. I ran faster and nearly caught up with her, but she suddenly turned and ran straight into the road. I made a grab for her but I wasn't fast enough, she didn't see the car until it was too late. I heard a screech of brakes, a thud and she screamed. I ran to her but she was lying on the road, completely lifeless. I begged her, pleaded with her to open her eyes, but she didn't. The ambulance came but it was too late. She was gone. I killed her. I broke down, holding her close to me, screaming, "It should have been me". By this time the rest if Emmett's guests had come out of the club. They tried to calm me, assure me it wasn't my fault, but they didn't know. The police came and wanted me to move away from her body. I couldn't, I wanted her to wake up, to tell me everything was going to be ok, or I wanted to die with her. How could I carry on living my life, when all my life was with her? I stayed with her for as long as they would let me, then I was forced to go home. I went into out bedroom and sat on our bed with my head in my hands, crying silent tears. The memory of her was everywhere. Her jacket in the hallway, her cup, still with her lipstick on, in the kitchen, he clothes in the bedroom, her toothbrush in the bathroom, her smell floated around the house and pictures of us smiling together were all around the house. As if to remind me what I'd done. I couldn't sleep, just sat on the bed in silence. My mind flickered through my memories of her. I saw her laugh, smile, cry when we watched Pearl Harbour, then everything speeded up and I saw her upset, because of me, then I saw her lifeless body, tears still on her face. I tried to turn of the television set in my head but every channel flickered with the same image. I screamed in pain. Then I noticed a glow, a golden glow, just like when I saw her at the awards, like an angel. I knew it was her. A vision of her appeared before me, and she softly spoke to me.

"Edward, I know you are sad, you think you've lost me. You're wrong. I will always be here for you. To watch over you, I'll make sure you come to no harm. What happened was not your fault; I want you to remember that. Though you think your life is over, it's only beginning. I want you to know that we will always be together; I will stay in your heart as long as you want me to. Please don't think I am gone. Whenever you feel you need me, I promise I'll be there. Always remember, I love you."

And she was gone.

It took me four years to write this story. And although I may have lost her in person, she goes with me everywhere; she is forever in my heart. And for everyone out there who feels like they have lost a loved one. You haven't, there will always be an angel watching over you, just like mine.

**Thanks for reading! Please review and tell me what you thought! x**


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